Balancing Work and Family: How To Fulfill Personal Growth and Relationship Needs While Managing Life Stressors

By Stephanie Newberg

Having a fulfilling and demanding career as well as a happy marriage and/or relationship with children is usually quite a balancing act. Most people find that there are a variety of reasons that "having it all" is hard to obtain. The reality is that it is hard to have both at certain stages of your life; however, if you are able to set realistic expectations and priorities for yourself, become aware of what is important to you and what your actual choices are, and practice a variety of relationship and stress management skills, you may find that your life feels more fulfilling and satisfying as a result.

There are times within one's career and family life cycle when it is important to make choices and set goals and priorities. By continuing to be aware and communicate with your partner about these issues, you may find that it may reduce the stress and the pressure that you experience, and in turn, help you feel more in control and proactive about your life. Having open discussions and making conscious choices for yourself may also help you bond with your partner and help you to feel more emotionally close and supported. The questions and issues that are important to raise and explore with yourself and then to discuss with your partner are:

1. What kind of work nurtures my soul and helps me feel well-rounded and meets my needs? Then what is the course of action I need to pursue this and, is it possible at this stage of my life? 
2. How much time do I need to stay at the office to get this work done? How flexible and open can I make my schedule so that I can be available to my family, and be able to practice self-care strategies. 
3. How can I challenge and grow but also set some limits and understand that there are various times in my life, that my family will take precedence over certain work obligations? 
4. How can I integrate my family into decisions I have to make about work constraints? 

When answering these questions it is important to be self-aware, honest, and realistic with yourself about your strengths and limitations. After these questions have been answered create strategies about how you can implement them. 

After, you have begun to implement certain choices for your family and work life that feel congruent with what is important to you, the following are other important tips to keep in mind:

1. Stay organized: Create written schedules and tasks that are posted in central locations so that all members of your family have a clear understanding about what is happening in all realms of life, on a weekly basis. 
2. Create a schedule that includes stress management and self-care techniques: Become attuned to strategies that address both internal and external stressors. Exercise, healthy diet, and creative outlets are important to pursue. 
3. Structure time with your family that includes daily family discussions as well as daily time to speak with your partner about information, life goals, problems, and feelings. 
4. Create an atmosphere that includes trust, openness and fun: Humor, relaxation, hobbies and recreation are all examples. This is essential to healthy living and helps family members to bond, create memories and rituals, and have a safe place to grow and be nurtured. 
5. Practice assertiveness within your work environment: Assert and discuss needs that help you achieve your balance and maintain your professional identity and role. Be clear with employers about needs for flexibility while emphasizing your desire to succeed and be conscientious about your work. 

Most importantly, remember you can only be the best parent and partner when your emotional and personal needs are met.

Stephanie Newberg, MEd, MSW, LCSW is a Senior Therapist and Assistant Director of CFR's Center City, Wynnewood and Bryn Mawr offices.